How to advocate for your child’s needs at school

When a child is struggling with behavior, mood, or focus at school, it’s not always clear where to turn. Is it something they’ll outgrow? Should you talk to the teacher? Is an evaluation needed?

These are questions Nicole Thomas, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Atlantic Health, helps families navigate every day.

When behavior at school is a concern

“Whether your child’s teacher notifies you or you’re the one reaching out for support, it’s important that you both get on the same page,” says Dr. Thomas. “The first step is open communication. Meet with the teacher. Ask questions. Get as much clarity as possible on what they’re seeing.”

Dr. Thomas also encourages parents to ask their children often, “How was school today?” And to do it in a way that invites honest conversation.

Partnering with teachers to build a supportive team

Disruptive behaviors in school often show up as excess fidgeting, zoning out, or verbal outbursts. It could also take the shape of moodiness or withdrawal from friends and activities.

All of these can be red flags of a child in crisis. If the behaviors persist at school after talking with the teacher, consider requesting a meeting with the school guidance counselor.

“One of the most powerful things a parent can do is actively engage with experts at the school,” says Dr. Thomas. “Don't be afraid to request a meeting and ask lots of questions. It is the best way to advocate for your child’s needs.”

Tools that can help at the early stages

Dr. Thomas explains the two main types of support most schools offer:

A 504 plan provides accommodations to help a child succeed in school. This could include extended time on tests, movement breaks, or seating assignments. It’s a good way to help kids with ADHD, anxiety, or even chronic physical issues.
An IEP (Individualized Education Program) involves a more formal evaluation, typically initiated by the school’s child study team. They assess cognitive function, academic skills, and emotional development—all based on educational goals.

“While an IEP is more intensive, both plans can be life-changing, especially when implemented early,” says Dr. Thomas. “Accommodations often prevent a problem from becoming a crisis.”

When to bring in a psychiatrist

If symptoms persist, your pediatrician might recommend going beyond the school system and talking to a behavioral health specialist.

“Not every referral to a psychiatrist results in a diagnosis,” says Dr. Thomas, “but if learning issues or behaviors interfere with daily life, we can assess for an underlying concern such as anxiety, ADHD, or depression. When we intervene at the early signs of inattention, behavior struggles, or academic/social difficulties, we can add support and monitoring before it becomes a pattern in the classroom.”

Be proactive

Reach out to your pediatrician, teacher, school counselor, or mental health professional if your child is struggling emotionally, academically, or behaviorally. Dr. Thomas also recommends HealthyChildren.org, an online resource from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Pediatric Psychiatric Care

Published: September 23, 2025

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